It's Thursday again. On this day last year it'd be the day I skip school and go to town, usually Suntec Starbucks and study with Wayne. Thursday was when my time table was really short plus there were two sessions of physics, one lecture and one tutorial. I never depended on physics lessons in school so I set it as the day I'd skip school and be more productive elsewhere. I miss it quite a lot, it's really things like these which make studying enjoyable. The usual routine of the thursdays in the build-up to As would be to go to school (since my mum fetches me there), then walk out the back gate and take a bus to town. I especially miss the cold mornings where it's drizzling and I'd be freezing on the bus. I'd get to see how the town areas like Orchard looked at 7plus am on a cold morning. Then I alight at Suntec area and head to either Gloria Jeans or Starbucks (it's really nice and conducive with the high ceiling and all) to meet Wayne before 8. Usually we'd both be really dazed and still not fully awake but the coffee helps and we just start anyway. It's really productive because we can help each other with our work and we tend to not want to waste the day so we really really focus. Doing 2 and a half past year papers on a Thursday would be considered unproductive already. After lunch at the Suntec foodcourt we usually head to a change of location like Esplanade library or Fullerton Starbucks. See how epic this day is already, 2 favourite places in 1 day. There we'd study till the evening and then go home for dinner.
I think my efforts to make studying enjoyable has really worked, looking at how I really miss studying, compared to doing this army stuff. When I was studying I used to look forward to the end of As, even though army was up ahead. To me, I didn't mind the physical part, and I just wanted to rest my brain. Who knew, I'm probably more stressed and having less fun this year compared to my major exam year. Moreover, I totally overlooked the freedom aspect of life. While studying, you may not have a lot of free time to while away, but at least you were free to do what you wanted. Now you've got a lot of free time on your hands, but it's not as though you can use the free time to do whatever you want.
It's one of the two paradoxes of my life currently. While studying, there was the urge to get over the exams and "rather be in army". Now I rather be studying and at least be having civilian freedom than be in army. But I know probably when I start studying again that I may sing a different song and miss the days when I had a lot of time on my hands to waste away and just sleep. The grass is always greener on the other side, isn't it? The solution is probably in making studying fun, which I successfully managed to last time and that's probably why I miss it. There's a certain joy in studying, because of the environment (like going to my favourite places in town).
Perhaps there are just good and bad sides to everything, and so we always tend to miss the good points when we're not in it. But when we are in it, we detest the bad points, so that results in perpetual dissatisfaction and the green being greener on the other side. Maybe deep inside me I secretly do enjoy the slackness of my current life (good point), despite the lack of freedom (bad point). My current weekends are really weekends for enjoyment I realise. I can go out the whole day or do whatever I want without having to worry about work or anything else. So after I finish this army and start uni I may start saying I miss the loads of free time (good point) but I overlook the lack of freedom (bad point).
The other paradox is about wanting time to pass faster. I really wish time would speed up till the end of next year when this is all done. I imagine what if we were able to just sleep all the way till end of 2013 and then all of a sudden we're free again. But that would really just be a waste of time totally. I believe that in everyday of our lives, we can gain something out of the limited time we have. After all, whether or not we have to serve 2 years, our final time limit is the same. I still believe everyday of our lives should be treasured to the maximum. And there lies the contradiction which frustrates. We want the 2 years to pass faster, but after these 2 years are gone we'll never get it back, such is the cruelty of time. And so therefore a part of us wants time to pass slower since life is life anyway.