I really miss this person I once knew. Not that I can't wait to meet the person or anything, just I miss the way the person used to be. She's changed, and I really miss the old her back. I guess more than anything, I feel a sense of disappointment, not sadness or anger. People really are very easily affected by their surroundings and those they mingle around with.
But a part of me thinks this may all be my fault. Perhaps if I didn't react so rashly and insecurely, things would have gotten better. But what can I do right? I mean, someone you truly treasure dropping a bomb on you, how is anyone supposed to respond?? So by panicking, things go downward. But if I didn't really actually care, maybe the situation wouldn't have been so aggravated, and things might have improved. The strange irony of life. I really wish I could turn back time to just 7 days ago, I would do everything so differently. Rushing someone to give things some thought just drives things down and the opposite happens, the person doesn't even give a thought, and makes up their mind without considering the situation. I'm really hoping a miracle happens, that she'll give it a proper though, I'll really let her think it through. But then again, she used to be somebody I can really emotionally connect with the best. We know each other inside out. Maybe that won't be the same again, if she's truly changed. Honestly, it took me quite a while to be able to be so committed to someone, I'll never be able to replicate that again.