Thursday, November 29, 2012
THE TEAM JERSEY
BOX OF GELS WHICH ARRIVED FROM AMAZON BEFORE THE RACE
MY LUGGAGE FOR BINTAN
TANAH MERAH FERRY TERMINAL-BEFORE DEPARTING
OUR STASH OF FOOD SUPPLIES
I THINK WE CAN FEED A FAMILY FOR A WEEK
CYCLING SHOES AND HELMETS, ALL LINED UP
ORIENTATION OF OUR LIVING ROOM
WHEN YOU LOOK TO YOUR RIGHT UPON ENTERING
ONE OF THE BEDROOMS
ANOTHER BEDROOM
VIEW FROM THE INSIDE OF THE LIVING ROOM TO THE MAIN DOOR
OUR BIKES LINED UP IN THE LIVING ROOM
OUT FOR OUR RECCE RIDE - CHEN YEE
WEN LEADING THE GROUP FOR A LITTLE UPSLOPE
FROM LEFT: IAN, WEN, CHEN YEE
A ROAD IN BINTAN
CHEN YEE TAKING THE LEAD THIS TIME
JUST THE GROUP OF US
CHEN YEE LEADING THE GROUP (AGAIN)
FROM LEFT: WEN, JULIAN, CHEN YEE
CHEN YEE SHOWING HIS SUFFERING FACE FROM THE CLIMB
GETTING INTO THE AERO POSITION FOR DESCENDING
STAYING IN THE AERO POSITION FOR DESCENDING
WEN DESCENDING, CHASING AFTER CHEN YEE
THE THREE OF THEM TRYING TO SPEED UP THE DESCENT
THE GAP IS OPENING BETWEEN US AND THEM
JULIAN
WEN
THE BIKE DEPOT - JUST LOOK AT THE SHEER NUMBER OF BIKES! AND MOST OF THEM ARE SICK!
15TH PLACE FOR STAGE 1 :)
7TH PLACE FOR STAGE 2 :):)
29TH PLACE FOR STAGE 3 :(
ME BEFORE STAGE 3
ME AFTER STAGE 2, RESTING AND WAITING FOR STAGE 3 TO BEGIN. IAN ON THE RIGHT
It's been twenty days after Tour De Bintan. I've been meaning to write about it ever since I came back but I've been procrastinating too much.
So, let's get things started with lessons I learnt and feelings I felt during my most enjoyable 3 days of this year.
1. Going to Bintan was really the best decision I made, despite what I may have previously thought.
a) It offered me the chance to go overseas with my teammates whom I am really bonded to and feel a great deal of connection with. That in itself, is the best part - travelling with teammates/close friends.
b) It was the first time I went on an overseas trip (not counting Malaysia) on MY OWN ACCORD (so school camps not counted) without my parents.
c) The disconnection from the outside world was actually very nice. I liked how I couldn't reply messages or take calls, and wasn't able to connect back to Singapore without paying exorbitant fees. For once, I was literally away from Singapore. It taught me that a part of our lives do need this disconnection once in a while, especially while we are on holiday. While we are physically overseas, it is important that we are mentally overseas too, and for that, I'm happy that my phone was basically useless for the weekend.
d) The whole environment there is very therapeutic. Firstly, the people there lead really simple lives, with no luxuries, yet you can see that they are very happy. Shows you that material wealth isn't 100% necessary to lead a happy life, and a stress-free life probably is more important. Secondly, the whole island is very peaceful and natural, with hardly any man-made skyscrapers or heavy traffic, it's just forest and hills. Thirdly, because of the race weekend, everything was about bikes. Other competitors riding around exploring the place, or wearing cycling-themed T-shirts, and bikes everywhere. You could walk around in lycra and a helmet and nobody would give you weird looks.
e) It gave me a break from the real world, and put me in a fantasy world. In the real world, there is stress and so many distractions and other things we have to take care of. For 3 days straight, there was no distractions from the outside world, and all our focus were put into bikes and the sport of cycling. Nutrition was tailored for the race and recovery. Bikes were maintained and ensured to be in prime condition for the race. Our lifestyle basically revolved around cycling for all three days. It was basically doing what we were passionate about, for 3 days straight. Every conversation was bike-related. Everyone we looked, bikes or bike-related. How great is that. This part, I can't describe in words how good it was. It was like, suddenly you forgot about all your problems you had in the real world.
So all in all, trip with closely-bonded teammates, doing what we were passionate about 100% of the time, for 3 full days, in an environment where we were away from all troubles, worry-free, and had an awesome chalet/villa to live in.
My favourite parts of the trip
The feeling of setting off on our trip to explore the Start/Finish of Stages 1, 2 and 3. It really gave us a taste of how it was like to travel as a team and train together. We put on our kit, set up the bikes, loaded up on the necessary fuel, water and spare equipment, then took our bikes onto the road and set off together. Together with the sun and the wind, this part really made me think "Wow, this is how the pros feel when they go for overseas training camps".
Riding in the massive thunderstorm in Stage 1, after 80km of undulating hills. Yeah, you must be thinking I'm sick to think this way. During the ride itself, it was mad horrible. Terrifying too. You're already cramping up after going on such a fast pace through so many rolling hills, and you look at the computer. "Shit, only 80km done?? That's just slightly over half, how am I going to finish this?" I thought to myself. My teammates have crashed out, and I'm basically the only Team Recycling-SP guy in the peloton. The temptation to just drop off the pack and board the sag wagon (bus which follows the race to pick up stragglers) is immense. Then you see dark clouds all over the hills and greenery ahead. And a few moments later, you're in the middle of the biggest thunderstorm you've encountered, and you're IN IT. Lightning streaks on the left, right, in front, and they're so bloody close. The floor is slippery and chances of skidding and crashing were high. Then I start to think about how much I have sacrificed for this. The cost is WAY MORE than just the $250 race fee and $226 accomodation fee I paid. The sacrificed weekends, the leaves, offs, and people. In the first place, I was definitely not one of the weaker guys in Cat 3. And the sag wagon is meant for the weak guys, people who didn't train hard enough, hoping that they can leach off the peloton and make it through 150km. Secondly, if I dropped off, that would mean that I would definitely be out of the top 90 and I would have to start with the Gran Fondo (recreational category) on stages 2 and 3. And then truly, it would have meant everything I put in, and everything I sacrificed, would have equated to NOTHING. I knew that if I stopped and waited for the sag wagon, within moments, I would've felt much less tired and have the thought of "shit, I could've hung on", only to be left feeling disappointed because my race would've been over by then. I also knew that the suffering I was going through was only temporary, and that after the race, this suffering would immediately disappear and turn into immense satisfaction. Which is exactly what happened. I was to come in 15th for this stage. The great sense of achievement I felt after the race is indescribable. And the suffering? Never stuck with me after the race. In fact, my body has this ability to somehow feel stronger and stronger after prolonged periods of riding. Around the 120km mark, I felt normal and un-crampy once again, while everyone else were in complete suffering mode. I even decided to relief the front guy of pulling duties. On the slopes, I unintentionally went metres ahead of the group, without realising, until I turned back and saw everyone so far back. Then I noticed the situation: with the motion of my legs pedalling like the pistons of an engine and the heavy rain pelting down heavily, riding in a peloton in a foreign land with amazing scenery, with everyone pushing on, gave me a strong sense of feeling like I was riding in a pro peloton. Like one of those TV scenes where they show a group of riders suffering in the rain, faces grimacing but yet unfaltering. That feeling was awesome.
Engaging in a sprint on the final run-down to the finish line on stage 2. Stage 2 was the stage I was initially hesitant to join, after seeing the brutality of a crash in stage 1. The crash resulted in 3 out of 6 of my teammates going down and subsequently pulling out of the tour, and many others from other teams were seriously injured as well. One guy broke his rib, another his collarbone, and another guy his elbow. Well, obviously all these information I got after completing stage 1 did frighten me, and I was wondering if I should stay safe and just join the Gran Fondo even though I made it to the top 90 on stage 1 anyway. But finally, I decided that since I made it, I might as well not waste it. So with a very cautious mentality, I joined Stage 2. No regrets, there were no crashes at all during stage 2 for the Cat 3 peloton. I sat right in the back of the pack instead of the centre to make sure I was safe from any impending crashes. Everyone was cautious as well due to stage 1's massive crash. The scenery on stage 2 was excellent as well. So anyway, beginning from the last 5km of stage 2, I made my way towards the front of the peloton to line up for the sprint. Being alone, I had nobody to bring me up, and nobody to give me a leadout so I had to work alone. The best part is the experience of timing everything well and being in the right place at the right time. At about 500m away, the front 3 guys went ahead with their sprint. I was blocked from them and was also nowhere as fast as them, so I knew there was no use trying to chase. But anyway, top 10 positions were still there for the taking. I hung around some angmoh riders' wheels till about the last 100/150m and decided to move to the side and make a sprint. The best part: about 50m from the line I was neck and neck with the angmoh guys on the right (I was on the far left). But I was off the saddle and giving it my best kicks like the Anson Road sprint I usually do with Wen. Very slowly, I noticed that I was edging over them and getting ahead. Finally, I crossed the line 7th, ahead of all those in the same pack as me for the sprint :)
So, let's get things started with lessons I learnt and feelings I felt during my most enjoyable 3 days of this year.
1. Going to Bintan was really the best decision I made, despite what I may have previously thought.
a) It offered me the chance to go overseas with my teammates whom I am really bonded to and feel a great deal of connection with. That in itself, is the best part - travelling with teammates/close friends.
b) It was the first time I went on an overseas trip (not counting Malaysia) on MY OWN ACCORD (so school camps not counted) without my parents.
c) The disconnection from the outside world was actually very nice. I liked how I couldn't reply messages or take calls, and wasn't able to connect back to Singapore without paying exorbitant fees. For once, I was literally away from Singapore. It taught me that a part of our lives do need this disconnection once in a while, especially while we are on holiday. While we are physically overseas, it is important that we are mentally overseas too, and for that, I'm happy that my phone was basically useless for the weekend.
d) The whole environment there is very therapeutic. Firstly, the people there lead really simple lives, with no luxuries, yet you can see that they are very happy. Shows you that material wealth isn't 100% necessary to lead a happy life, and a stress-free life probably is more important. Secondly, the whole island is very peaceful and natural, with hardly any man-made skyscrapers or heavy traffic, it's just forest and hills. Thirdly, because of the race weekend, everything was about bikes. Other competitors riding around exploring the place, or wearing cycling-themed T-shirts, and bikes everywhere. You could walk around in lycra and a helmet and nobody would give you weird looks.
e) It gave me a break from the real world, and put me in a fantasy world. In the real world, there is stress and so many distractions and other things we have to take care of. For 3 days straight, there was no distractions from the outside world, and all our focus were put into bikes and the sport of cycling. Nutrition was tailored for the race and recovery. Bikes were maintained and ensured to be in prime condition for the race. Our lifestyle basically revolved around cycling for all three days. It was basically doing what we were passionate about, for 3 days straight. Every conversation was bike-related. Everyone we looked, bikes or bike-related. How great is that. This part, I can't describe in words how good it was. It was like, suddenly you forgot about all your problems you had in the real world.
So all in all, trip with closely-bonded teammates, doing what we were passionate about 100% of the time, for 3 full days, in an environment where we were away from all troubles, worry-free, and had an awesome chalet/villa to live in.
My favourite parts of the trip
The feeling of setting off on our trip to explore the Start/Finish of Stages 1, 2 and 3. It really gave us a taste of how it was like to travel as a team and train together. We put on our kit, set up the bikes, loaded up on the necessary fuel, water and spare equipment, then took our bikes onto the road and set off together. Together with the sun and the wind, this part really made me think "Wow, this is how the pros feel when they go for overseas training camps".
Riding in the massive thunderstorm in Stage 1, after 80km of undulating hills. Yeah, you must be thinking I'm sick to think this way. During the ride itself, it was mad horrible. Terrifying too. You're already cramping up after going on such a fast pace through so many rolling hills, and you look at the computer. "Shit, only 80km done?? That's just slightly over half, how am I going to finish this?" I thought to myself. My teammates have crashed out, and I'm basically the only Team Recycling-SP guy in the peloton. The temptation to just drop off the pack and board the sag wagon (bus which follows the race to pick up stragglers) is immense. Then you see dark clouds all over the hills and greenery ahead. And a few moments later, you're in the middle of the biggest thunderstorm you've encountered, and you're IN IT. Lightning streaks on the left, right, in front, and they're so bloody close. The floor is slippery and chances of skidding and crashing were high. Then I start to think about how much I have sacrificed for this. The cost is WAY MORE than just the $250 race fee and $226 accomodation fee I paid. The sacrificed weekends, the leaves, offs, and people. In the first place, I was definitely not one of the weaker guys in Cat 3. And the sag wagon is meant for the weak guys, people who didn't train hard enough, hoping that they can leach off the peloton and make it through 150km. Secondly, if I dropped off, that would mean that I would definitely be out of the top 90 and I would have to start with the Gran Fondo (recreational category) on stages 2 and 3. And then truly, it would have meant everything I put in, and everything I sacrificed, would have equated to NOTHING. I knew that if I stopped and waited for the sag wagon, within moments, I would've felt much less tired and have the thought of "shit, I could've hung on", only to be left feeling disappointed because my race would've been over by then. I also knew that the suffering I was going through was only temporary, and that after the race, this suffering would immediately disappear and turn into immense satisfaction. Which is exactly what happened. I was to come in 15th for this stage. The great sense of achievement I felt after the race is indescribable. And the suffering? Never stuck with me after the race. In fact, my body has this ability to somehow feel stronger and stronger after prolonged periods of riding. Around the 120km mark, I felt normal and un-crampy once again, while everyone else were in complete suffering mode. I even decided to relief the front guy of pulling duties. On the slopes, I unintentionally went metres ahead of the group, without realising, until I turned back and saw everyone so far back. Then I noticed the situation: with the motion of my legs pedalling like the pistons of an engine and the heavy rain pelting down heavily, riding in a peloton in a foreign land with amazing scenery, with everyone pushing on, gave me a strong sense of feeling like I was riding in a pro peloton. Like one of those TV scenes where they show a group of riders suffering in the rain, faces grimacing but yet unfaltering. That feeling was awesome.
Engaging in a sprint on the final run-down to the finish line on stage 2. Stage 2 was the stage I was initially hesitant to join, after seeing the brutality of a crash in stage 1. The crash resulted in 3 out of 6 of my teammates going down and subsequently pulling out of the tour, and many others from other teams were seriously injured as well. One guy broke his rib, another his collarbone, and another guy his elbow. Well, obviously all these information I got after completing stage 1 did frighten me, and I was wondering if I should stay safe and just join the Gran Fondo even though I made it to the top 90 on stage 1 anyway. But finally, I decided that since I made it, I might as well not waste it. So with a very cautious mentality, I joined Stage 2. No regrets, there were no crashes at all during stage 2 for the Cat 3 peloton. I sat right in the back of the pack instead of the centre to make sure I was safe from any impending crashes. Everyone was cautious as well due to stage 1's massive crash. The scenery on stage 2 was excellent as well. So anyway, beginning from the last 5km of stage 2, I made my way towards the front of the peloton to line up for the sprint. Being alone, I had nobody to bring me up, and nobody to give me a leadout so I had to work alone. The best part is the experience of timing everything well and being in the right place at the right time. At about 500m away, the front 3 guys went ahead with their sprint. I was blocked from them and was also nowhere as fast as them, so I knew there was no use trying to chase. But anyway, top 10 positions were still there for the taking. I hung around some angmoh riders' wheels till about the last 100/150m and decided to move to the side and make a sprint. The best part: about 50m from the line I was neck and neck with the angmoh guys on the right (I was on the far left). But I was off the saddle and giving it my best kicks like the Anson Road sprint I usually do with Wen. Very slowly, I noticed that I was edging over them and getting ahead. Finally, I crossed the line 7th, ahead of all those in the same pack as me for the sprint :)
And today marks ONE MORE YEAR till 29/11/13. It spells O R D.
Friday, November 09, 2012
I wonder if the communication has become merely part of appeasement or still something enjoyable.Meanwhile, on the ferry to Bintan for TdB! 150kms on the first stage, it's our form after 100km that will make a difference. Hopefully one of us from the team gets a win of some sort, plus no one crashes!
Wednesday, November 07, 2012
God I miss the old times. I'd give anything for a time machine. That was pure bliss.Meanwhile, let's hope I stop relapsing on letting go. Still wonder why I'm not reciprocating this treatment. So I'm just equanimous when someone's so nice to me, but so nice when someone's so mean to me?? What if the roles were reversed? Are humans this gracious? Winston. When there's a will, there's a way, and that's how I got stay out, today!
I can now understand why someone put a curse on me 2 over years ago, hoping I'll hurt and suffer a million times worse.
The right mindset to approach this is to see it as an opportunity, and also a discovery, rather than focusing on all the misery and negativity.
Yes, that's how a morning town ride and coffee at coffee bean helps me think properly. Gotta love the resultant endorphins rush in my brain, it really cheers me up.
Yes, that's how a morning town ride and coffee at coffee bean helps me think properly. Gotta love the resultant endorphins rush in my brain, it really cheers me up.
Monday, November 05, 2012
I really need a peaceful night's rest. This is race week, it's the time to focus. If the cost of the race is as such, then surely it is wise to channel the equivalent effort into it, and win it.What's not within your control just isn't, nature will take its course and at the end of the day, decide what's best.
The curse set upon me 2 years and 8 months ago is now back, so yes divine or non-divine, retribution comes back and bites. Everything I ever did is back to attack me, little by little, one at a time. It's a punishment of epic proportions, but I do deserve it. It shows that it's impossible to get away with anything, what doesn't strike soon will eventually. The world is fair, and now it's my turn to pay the price.
Sunday, November 04, 2012
I say everything's going to turn out fine in the end. But who am I trying to convince??Saturday, November 03, 2012
It's a gloomy-looking (but rainless), cold Saturday afternoon and I'm just in my room at home seeing time go by, feels quite wasted. Plus I've been on leave since yesterday and I've pretty much been lazy around the whole time. But at the same time, I used to want to have such afternoons once in a while. To just while my time away at home, in the company of family and not moving/doing anything at all. Ah, here's the irony. The concept of a lazy afternoon is pretty much like this, and every time I listen to the radio and they talk about enjoying a lazy afternoon at home, it sounds appealing. Lazy Sundays too right? But as it turns out, either because it's the guilt I feel from "wasting my time" or the boredom, it isn't too great. In fact, it does feel somewhat frustrating. Like you know you should be doing something useful, and especially as an NSF, free days are hard to come by. But nonetheless, I'm sure I'll be craving for such lazy afternoons once again, whenever a busy schedule resumes. So, this brings me to two different, unrelated thoughts.This is a good example of one of those "the grass is greener on the other side" situations. When you're in the situation, the alternative suddenly seems more appealing. Whether it's deciding to be "Single" or "Attached", "this person" or "that person", the opposite always seems to be more attractive. Before I reached the age of 17, "attached" always seemed to be a good place to be in. After getting into that stage, suddenly singlehood seems so fun, all the freedom, time alone, socialising and lack of commitment. Hahaha what's the next part then? Yup, the circle goes a full round and oh, single once again. And yes (good guess there), "attached" sounds better now. You miss the whole thing about having someone there for you all the time, and the feeling of being there for someone as well. You miss committing to someone and the idea of taking into account an additional person when making plans. Suddenly you feel like there's a gap in your life you want to fill up. Like a missing piece of the puzzle you need. You're left feeling a bit like, someone needs to take up my free time (or it'll seem wasted). "I need to go out and spend my time to not let it slip by just like that." And I probably wouldn't feel this way if I had something/someone else to occupy my time with, the fill in the newfound free time. I'd have something new to focus on, like a new excitement in life (a life without variation IS boring), or a distraction. Of course, this would be like focusing your attention on something external, so that you don't feel the wound on your skin. It's just like distracting yourself from the reality of the situation. But the fact remains that the wound is present. Does the wound ever go away then? No, so the pain will be felt when the external distraction is gone or the excitement wears off. The only way to see the truth is by removing the distraction. And then, the best way to heal the wound would be to face it and focus on it till the pain becomes numb (like pouring saline solution on the wound), and that's the story of how I got mine healed :)
Here's my next idea.
We're brought up in a world where efficiency and maximization are concepts instilled in us from young. We must do as many things in as short a time as possible (efficiency). We must do as many things we can, in as much time as we are given, make the most out of it (maximization). But there's one thing I've thought to myself for quite a long time now, and that is, "Is it really necessary for all this?" I recently read an article which had quite a good quote "We're human beings, not human doing, so we should stop doing, and start being." Awesome quote which made me smile and it's never failed to come up in my mind every time I think about making the most out of my day. The writer was on some topic about enjoying his holiday trip if I remember correctly. Not sure if I'm starting to make this part up, but basically he said he just lazed around his whole trip and took a real break from work, because that's what going on a holiday is about. There's no relief from stress if you're rushing about the place, trying to make the "most" out of the trip and making your "holiday" worth the cost. Mmmm :)
Back to About My Day Today
Anyway, basically today was a very relaxing day, no training of any sort, just eating a lot (1.5x125g serving of pasta) and sitting around at home, mostly on the laptop (most entertaining option). I'm still trying to eliminate the virus from my body, so a good rest is also what I do need. Usually when I have free days like these I'd at least do some sort of training whether gym or bike but I really need all the immune system I can get to get rid of the virus. Tour de Bintan is next week, and based on Thursday night's ride, I have the legs and all (quite prepared by now), but my lungs and heart are giving me problems because of my illness. The heart rate spikes and hovers around 190-200 when I'm straining, which is way higher than normal and really scary I might add. I don't feel the heart working so hard, like it isn't even tiring. No wonder sick people do have sudden deaths when they train. And I wheeze and make weird hollow noises when I'm breathing and panting real hard. All signs of illness, so I decided training wouldn't make me stronger, and I better recover from this in time. Plus, the virus is probably going to infect my heart itself if I train too hard.
Currently I'm on a 5-day course of Amoxicillin, so we'll see how that goes. Started it on Friday 2pm, and it seems to be working, I'm already coughing much less. Though that could also be attributed to the diphenhydramine which has antihistamine properties.
I decided to have a coffee break round 2 at around 5pm, since I had nothing better to do really, and I needed some dopamine/endorphin boost. Coffee-making is enjoyable in itself too :) Sometimes I look at coffee as my version of a smoke break, like how people need to smoke to release their stress, I drink coffee :) It's
Friday, November 02, 2012
Okay I'm back alive. Had the legs after a 4 day rest, but no cardio capacity and lungs. Heart rate was spiking to 190-200bpm but I couldn't feel it. Anyway thankfully I got the readings on the HRM so I just backed off accordingly:)Thursday, November 01, 2012
On this night of 1st Nov, I'd like to make a note of my current health stats. Not been feeling the best lately or today either, but I've to go for the Team Absolut Thursday ride. In case anything happens, this might be a reason. So here's the blood pressure readings.1st time:
138/69, 77bpm
2nd time:
138/71, 76bpm
3rd time:
137/70, 81bpm
All readings were taken within a space of about 5 minutes, in the position of arm on table, with me on the chair.
The pulse rate is higher than my usual, which would be in the 60s region. Blood pressure is also somewhat high. Reason for this is likely due to the body fighting the virus. This might also be responsible for the headaches I've Ren experiencing. Another possible reason for the pulse rate and blood pressure could be the coffee I drank just now. 1.5x usual caffeine taken. But it's not known how this caffeine intake has affected my readings previously.
Regardless, I'll be watching myself tonight and I'll responsibly pull off the train if I have to.